Arguably, the most intelligent thing any real man should be doing is caring for his wife. In this short post, Guy outlines 7 easy things you can do today to love your wife and improve your life.
I’ve heard it said that a man’s wife is his glory. Another version often stated is “happy wife, happy life”.
Proverbs 12:4a outlines it a slightly different way:
“A virtuous [or in some translations: excellent, worthy, of noble character, capable] women is a crown to her husband”.
A crown to her husband. A crown is precious, worth looking after, treating with much love. Men will wash and care for their cars, or boat or other things …. but are we taking enough care of what is really most precious to us -our wives?
Our wives are all different, on different parts of the journey, under different pressures, have different interests … but there are some relatively universal truths that apply to almost all women. Here are 7 things you can be doing to care for your wife. You can bet that you’ll reap the rewards too!
1. Date Nights.
A night set aside for my wife and I has been THE single most consistent thing that we have done that has blessed our marriage. Very occasionally we miss it (and try to do it on another night if we have to), but about 48 out of 52 weeks a year, my wife and I have a night together. The earlier you start, the better. Children are no excuse. We have 9 children and they all learn to accept that there is a mum and dad night once per week. In a separate post I’ll give some ideas for what you can do (if you really need any!), but the first thing is just get started!
2. Breakfast for Two.
Breakfast for two is a variation on the date night idea. Simply put, it is one morning per week where you have breakfast together. That means getting up before the children, or else arranging something for the kids to do while you have 1/2 an hour together. If you are on the early train to work, either get up a little earlier, speed up your morning routine by preparing some things the night before, or even arranging to be at work a little later that day. Making these adjustments for your wife means a huge amount to her. In a separate post we’ll discuss some of the practical aspects of having breakfast for two!
3. Taking the kids out.
Busy mums love a little time to themselves. Depending on whether your wife likes things planned or is more spontaneous, arrange a time with her that suits her so that you can take the kids out for an hour or two. It doesn’t have to mean spending money either. I’m sure you can come up with plenty ideas near where you live – how about the local park/playground, walk around a lake, or playing a game at the ball park. Even consider scheduling a regular time to do this each week. Importantly, keep an eye on your wife’s stress levels. We all love our wives when they are relaxed and stress free, so some time to herself can be a really good stress relief and benefit everybody!
4. Reading to the Kids.
This one works on three fronts. Firstly, our wives all generally worry about how well the kids are reading. Reading aloud to the children is the method parents (and tutors) have used for centuries to teach children to speak and read. Secondly, a wife loves to see her children and her husband enjoying a simple activity like this together. It brings lots of warm fuzzy feelings and it is a peaceful activity for the kids at bedtime. Thirdly, it occupies the kids while mum gets some things done. This one will get a big thank you. But be warned, make sure both you and the kids aren’t supposed to be doing something else first!
5. Get little things done.
OK. I’ll admit this up front. This is one I want to be better at. We all know that there are always things that need to be done. Whether renting or owning a home, there are always things that annoy our wives that we could fix or organise someone to fix that would make a huge difference to her. Let’s face it, most of her priorities are not ours. We’d rather start something new or fix something of our choosing. I’d encourage you to make a list, add it to the fridge or noticeboard and encourage your wife to add things to it that she would really like done around the place. Then, schedule time to look at the list and time to start working your way through it. If you are a DIY type – great! if not, then outsource it. Some of my kids are now old enough I can outsource jobs to them. Doubly great! Very often fixing a few small items can make a big difference to your wife’s happy level.
6. Back her up
This one is so fundamental that I almost forgot to mention it. You can not have a happy and content wife if you do not back her up. This is obvious in front of other adults, but it is just as important in front of the kids. Back her up. Be on her side and not the kids side, even if you disagree. If you disagree, you need to broach the subject with her alone, either soon after or do it over breakfast (see #2). I can’t emphasis how important this one is. She needs to know you are on her side.
7. Lead the Spiritual Stuff
Now not everyone reading this has a strong faith, and we are all at different points in our journey through life. However, if you believe in God – then take a lead in teaching your children about God. Start with an age-appropriate bible story. The classic Egermeier Bible Story Book first published in 1922 but revised many times, is a great place to start for younger children (say 1 – 11). For older children, find something at your local Christian book story or ask someone at church for ideas. You don’t have to have all the answers. Even the great theologians can’t agree on many things about God, so be honest when you don’t understand something.
There you have it. I could add more, but too much and we tend to shut down and do nothing.
Pick something on the above list you are not doing now, and give it a go. PLEASE then give me your feedback in the comments section. What did you do and how did it go?
Coming up we will have separate posts on each of the above 7 items (plus some videos) so you can see how easy they are.
Leave your comments, and remember to look after your crown!